My Five-Minute Memoir

Yesterday, I wrote an acquaintance to tell him more about myself and my life so we could get to know each other better. After all, there is always more than meets the bio (ed note: play of words on 'more than meets the eyes'). Here is my view on an unfinished journey:

1. My dad is black; from Trenton, New Jersey; and grew up pretty poor. I was eight years old when he passed away. When my mom was eighteen, she and her family were kicked out of Poland for being Jewish. Their passport was taken away and they could only take very few belongings. As a teenager, her and her brother came to America by themselves.
   
2. My mom and dad met at Mercer Country Community College. They divorced when I was four.
   
3. Growing up I always felt different because I was an agglomeration of different classes, ethnicities, and races. I grew up in a small, suburban, middle-class town fifteen minutes from Princeton University. At the same time, both of my parents worked very hard for what they got. Consequently, they instilled in me a very strong work ethic and a belief in myself that I could accomplish anything I wanted to.
   
4. I grew up playing a ton of sports and was generally one of the best at each one I played. At the end of grade school, I decided to focus on tennis and played tournaments for the next six years and eventually played on the NYU tennis team where I was the MVP my freshman year. In eighth grade, I had a growth spurt of seven inches in six months. This gave me very weak knees and led to injuries that still plague me and limit my potential.
   
5. Academically, I did well. In grade school, I was always on the border line between "gifted and talented" classes and "average" classes. My mom, against my desire at the time, pushed for me to be moved up. I guess they realized it wasn't worth arguing with her and let me join the "gifted and talented" group. As such, I often felt like I was the least intelligent of my peers. To preserve my ego, I decided that I had to compete in other ways beyond academic intelligence. That's one of the reasons I think why I was open to starting a business.
   
6. Socially, I was rather quiet and nervous, perhaps because I was an only child. My small group of friends was in between a lot of groups in the social hierarchy so we were able to hang out with any other group by and large. In ninth grade, I decided that I wanted to be popular. So I started trying to be funny and developed a reputation for being a goof ball. In the end, it worked fairly well, but not as well as I would have hoped at the time. I started to let the popularity hunt go when my business partner and I would transition from having a meeting with a client for thousands of dollars and then going to Gym class. We realized that there was a lot more to life. Similarly, I keep perspective on the 'rat race' culture of selling out ones values for what's perceived by others as success.
   
7. My friend and I started our web development company when I was sixteen years old. We didn't know much of anything, but fortunately for us this ignorance gave us the balls to do what we did. We grew by partnering with a web development company that outsourced to us at $25/hr. This gave us the opportunity to build our client list and our skills. Our next growth spurt came when we went out on our own and outsourced our projects to India. At one point we were charging $75-$100/hour and outsourcing for $25/hour and sending a lot of projects through the pipe line. Alas, we made many mistakes and also realized that the market doesn't always throw clients at our feet that are willing to pay a lot of money. When the bubble burst, my partner and I were at college and we decided to stop doing the business. It was good while it lasted.
   
8. Running the business was difficult because of skepticism from my mom. She wanted me to succeed, but on her terms, which meant getting good grades at good schools and moving into a safe job as a computer programmer. She saw my interest in entrepreneurship as a direct threat to her dream for me. As such, she'd often ignore, discourage, or make fun of me when I talked about doing business. After crying a few times, I decided to simply not talk about it. However, things have changed a lot now and she has been there for me during times when I really needed it.
   
9. I didn't have any girl friends in high school. But, I met my current one my third day at NYU. We've lived together for about three years now and it has been an absolutely incredible relationship, no without its ups and downs though. We are partners on the business and our skills really complement each other. We still haven't gotten sick of seeing each other many hours every day. Miraculously, we still find interesting things to talk about.
   
10. At NYU, I've gotten very involved in youth entrepreneurship organizations, particularly the National Foundation for Teaching Entrepreneurship. I am an alumni, on the NY Metro advisory board, volunteer, and work for/shadow the president once a week.
    
11. While at NYU, I've spent quite a bit of time attending self-development/spirituality/creativity seminars and conferences. I also journal quite a bit. Keeping everything in perspective is extremely important to me.
    
12. I've also spent a lot of time networking. When I got to New York City, I didn't know anybody. Now, I have over 700 contacts in my personal database.
    
13. I didn't really enjoy NYU when I first came here. In retrospect, I think this was due to a combination of large required classes with hundreds of other students who didn't want to be there. It also was due to picking classes very poorly, having a lot of difficulty sitting in one place for an extended amount of time, and not giving school the chance I could've in terms of time. During my sophomore year I took a semester off to get away and to soul search. The experience really helped me grow and when I came back to NYU, I made the most of it! Overall, I've really enjoyed my NYU experience and am extremely happy that I chose it over the other schools I got into, including higher ranked ones. I would even call it a dream school. For me, it was definitely true that you don't really learn how to maximize school until its too late and you graduate. I may go back to school for a Phd some day.
    
14. I could talk about Extreme Entrepreneurship and The Student Success Manifesto, which have been a big part of my life the last two years, but you'll just have to read this blog to find out more.
    
15. My vision is to make a large, lasting, positive difference in the world by being the change I want to see in every moment.

Posted at 01:28 PM | TrackBack | Top

June 30, 2004

Making a Move

Thinking about making the move
to live with a significant other? After living with Michael for over three
years, here is the advice I gave to a friend: Firstly, living together and
dating are very different. My guess would be that living together is much more
like being married than it is like dating, although of course I've never been
married. There seem to be various stages to any relationship, and I think by
moving in together, a new stage arises. The infatuation you get in the beginning
of a relationship gives way to a more casual love. In a way, you start to think
of each other like family and take each other for granted. A lot of the
'glamour' of the relationship goes away. It's great because you are so
comfortable around each other, but at the same time you sometimes forget how
lucky you are, and have to keep reminding yourself. I've heard that successful
marriages are less likely to come about after "cohabitations". I don�t know much
about how these statistics were derived, but you have to think about the
context. A couple living together has only very recently become acceptable, just
as divorce has. Relationships are not what they used to be - for better and for
worse. I think that one thing that our generation has been entirely mislead on
is the belief that we have one soulmate and that once we find our "prince" we
will live "happily ever after". Relationships are hard work, and we have never
been taught how to push through the tough times which are inevitable. I would
argue that the most difficult times for Michael and I have brought us the most
growth - both individually and in our relationship. But many people take these
difficult times as signs that they "were not meant for each other" after all.
The other thing I should point out about living together is that the longer you
do it, the more difficult it is to break up. Michael and I have considered
breaking up before (though we're both glad we didn�t now), and when that was
going on, we realized how difficult it would actually be to move apart. Our
belongings had virtually merged, and we had become very interdependent. But it
wasn't just our belongings. We had been giving to each other unconditionally,
the way you would give to a family member who you expected to always be your
family member. But at the same time, when you're living together, marriage
becomes very easy to put off, even if you plan on it eventually. (This is where
I see our relationship right now.) It doesn�t seem like much would change, and
so there doesn�t seem to be much of a point in it. Where is the benefit? Perhaps
this accounts some for the increasing delay in the age of marriages in our
generation. I hope these points do not sound too negative, because to be
completely honest with you, I think it was an excellent choice for us to live
together and I wouldn�t have it any other way. It will bring out the best in
your relationship and the worst - and the best in each other and the worst. It
is a beautiful catalyst for growth. However, living together is certainly not
dating. I think for it to be successful, each individual has to approach living
together with a commitment to the relationship's success, a willingness to
change and compromise, and a determination to use the challenges as a means to
grow personally. Above all, I think the best advice I can give is the advice
that my mother gave me when I told her that Michael and I were thinking about it
- you have to follow your heart, and you will know if it is right for you.

Posted at 02:26 AM | TrackBack | Top

June 29, 2004

Life's Ups and Ups

Right now, I'm in one of those crazy work modes where I'm just inspired. Last night, I worked until 6:00am, woke up four hours later, and here I am now - eyes wide open, heart pounding. Either everything is coming together or I'm just really happy with the way things are or both. In various news:

1. Last week we met with the managing director of the venture capital firm that Sheena works for. He gave some really great advice about how we could incorporate technology into our publishing model. The meeting concluded with him asking if we could do it again in a month.
   
2. Two weeks ago we met with a Brown University professor who was a successful entrepreneur in a former life. Also, he teaches a course that helps students create a framework for their lives through the lens of entrpereneuershp. It was really great to see that a course like this exists! Right now, we're communicating via email about potential ways we could collaborate.
   
3. Sheena and I are doing an independent study with John Sexton, the president of NYU, which started last week. It promises to be extremely exciting and will be on the topic of community development.
   
4. I'm doing an global entrepreneurship independent study with Professor Wiesen, who is a Stern Professor and as well a cofounder of Tofutti and the Financial News Network (sold to CNBC).
   
5. I'm back into playing tennis. I'm playing about once a week and hoping to move that up to three or four times.
   
6. Besides that I've just been enjoying another summer in the city.

Posted at 12:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Top

June 21, 2004

The Tyranny of Choice

Article Summary
Logic suggests that having options allows people to select precisely what makes them happiest. But, as studies show, abundant choice often makes for misery.

Link to Scientific American Article

Posted at 09:35 PM | TrackBack | Top

June 16, 2004

Fixate or Focus

A few years ago, a friend of mine mentioned that many famous artists eventually go crazy. For some reason, this was just one of those things that stuck in my mind. Well, over the past few months, I've been developing a theory on why this might happen...

One of my most distinctive attributes is that I often enter into states of flow and creativity where I lose sight of everything else. Food, significant others, school, etc. all become meaningless no matter how much I might normally love them. In those hours of flow, in addition to working for many hours straight on pure inspiration, I come up with many creative ideas (at least they seem that way until I wake up the next day). In fact, I'm so impressed with my ideas that I might start dancing around our apartment or fall to my knees in euphoria. In the past, I've taken pride in this, considering it one of my strengths.

However, recently I've been noticing that it does come with its disadvantages if not managed properly. Below are those disadvantages coupled with possible solutions:

1. Execution. Something that the entrepreneurially minded aren't lacking is ideas. What are lacking are resources to execute those ideas. Constantly becoming infatuated with the next 'million dollar' idea does not lead to real results.
   Realization: Ideas don't have value in and of themselves. They are seeds that require resources to grow. A general rule of thumb is that whatever amount resources you think a project requires, multiply by two.
   
2. Focus. Sitting in one place is extremely difficult for me, especially during classes. If the class is too boring, than my mind starts to come up with new ideas. If the class is too exciting, then my mind also starts going off the wall with new ideas. My heart rate speeds up, I bite my nails until their bloody (one of those childhood habits that didn't go away), and I intermittently write in my notebook and make eye contact with my professor when in reality I'm just brainstorming about business. Also, on a smaller level, I have difficulty listening to people for the same reasons as above.
   Realization: Fixation leads to separation from your environment and lack of open-mindedness.
   
3. Perspective Lastly, these flow periods often get more and more hectic. Instead of the problems being exciting, they become larger and more important than they actually are. With so many possibilities, I begin to feel behind because I don't have the time or resources to implement them.
   Realization: Ideas can create a false reality, no matter how much you think your ideas are the truth. I love flying on stormy days because I learn the power of perspective. I'm always surprised and awed to see that the sun is always brilliantly shining when the plane gets high enough.

In the end, I think both flow and creativity are not innately good or bad. It's about how they're used. Proceed with caution.

Posted at 08:05 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack | Top

May 10, 2004

Time Focus

For the next few months, I plan to focus my time on the following:

1. School
   
2. Meditation (1.5 hours/day)
   
3. Extreme Entrepreneurship
   • Building advisory board
     
   • Raising funds
     
   • Helping to launch workbook
     
   • Writing the second edition of the book
     
   • Further building systems (web site, etc.)
     
   • Looking for distributor
   
   
4. Writing Fiction Book with Best-Seller and Movie Potential (50 pages in so far)

Posted at 12:54 AM |