Radical Honesty

As someone who has studied success, full-heartedly pursued "success" and even written a book on it, I feel like I must always project myself as somebody who is very, very successful. This creates a false picture in people's mind and gives me stress because I feel like I must uphold that image. When things aren't going well, I often avoid blogging out of fear that it will hurt my reputation. In the back of my mind I say to myself that once I'm successful in the ways I want to be, then I'll tell how I made all these stupid mistakes.

Today, I've decided to change that, which is not to say that I've considered myself dishonest. In fact, I think I've gone above and beyond what is generally considered "normal" in terms of honesty and integrity. However, I feel like I must go farther. Two things have influenced me to do this:

1. I read an article in Inc. Magazine called Exaggeration Nation, which said the following:

   For those who missed it, the hip-hop impresario was outed for serially -- and wildly -- inflating the revenue of his company, Phat Farm. Appearing on CNBC in 2003, for example, Simmons claimed sales of $350 million; in Newsweek, the figure was $240 million. And in his book Life and Def, he cited 2001 sales of $150 million. Unfortunately for Simmons, he's stuck in litigation with a former business partner; in a deposition, he was forced to reveal that his actual sales never topped a mere $14.5 million.

   When is enough, enough?

2. I was in the book store today and was looking for a very honest book on somebody's triumphs and tribulations with spirituality after a life-time of pursuing it full-heartedly. To make a long story short, I couldn't find one. All the books in the "spirituality and religion" and the "self improvement" areas seemed to only focus on and exagerrate the positives. This made me realize that I could possibly make more of a positive difference in myself and others, by fully sharing the ups and downs of my life. This may turn people off who would rather read a book by somebody who has 'been there and done that'. However, I think this is of value to young people who want to see what entrepreneurship could be like if they pursued it full-heartedly. I consider myself to be very normal. I consider myself smart, but not very smart. I come from a middle-class background with no special contacts or "entrepreneurs in the family". Hopefully people can relate.

• The road tour is coming along slowly, but surely. We're getting more incredible young speakers, However, we still haven't closed any sponsors. Therefore, we've postponed the tour until the Spring. I have a meeting with the managing editor of Inc. Magazine next week and we are going back-and-forth with a potential sponsor. Also, we're in talks with a potential fiscal sponsor. I was hoping to make a ton of calls this summer. However, Sheena and I are realizing that we need to bring somebody on who is an expert in sales and who can work full-time on the business.
  
• Since November, I've been working part-time as the program coordinator of the Bank of America Youth Entrepreneur Awards. My commitment ends this month and I've decided to not renew so I can work full-time on the business. Now, both Sheena and I are full-time.
  
• We just contracted with a literary agency/book packager in New York. We're extremely excited because he has high-level contacts in the publishing industry and really understands what we're trying to do. The publishing industry is slow over the summer, so we're hoping to close a deal with a publisher for a series in the Fall. We're aiming for a 6-figure advance.
  
• To grow the business, we've taken on about $7,000 in credit card debt and are taking out $30,000 in business loans. Good thing, my mom doesn't read my journal! We will repay this with our book advance and speaking engagements, which we're now paid up to $2,000 to deliver.
  
• Sheena and I are really working well together. In the past, having consistent meetings was challenging. 1) Because something would inevitabily come up and because we're so close, we'd cancel easily 2) Personal things would come up during meetings and we'd get in an argument. As a testament to our growth as individuals and with each other, the meetings have been going incredibly and our relationship is growing a lot closer. As a result, I feel VERY good about our strategies and focus moving forward.
  
• The beta of the feedback system has been going very well. People have been giving very positive feedback and a number of surveys have been sent out.
  
• We recently got headshots. So, now you can see what Sheena looks like :) I will also be changing the picture on http://successmanifesto.com/. It makes the company looks like its run by me, even though Sheena and I put in equal amounts of work and have a 50/50 equity split.
  
• I've been calling people in my network to ask if they could help us raise $200,000 for our company, which we're aiming to do over the next 6 months. I've always avoided this because I've felt awkward asking people I know. So far, I've had three meetings to this end. One person said they'd probably invest a little bit. Another said, they'd introduce us to others. The last said no, but gave incredible feedback and gave some acheivable criteria under which he might invest.
  I hope your journey is going well. That's about it for now.
  Posted at 09:11 PM | Comments (1) | Top
  
  

  July 09, 2005

  Are You Ready For The Truth? Can You Handle It?

  Over the past few months, we've been developing a feedback system that allows individuals to get quick, constructive, life feeedback from people they know. We believe that just as business enterprises do market research to better pursue their visions, so to should "human enterprises" (individuals) get feedback from stakeholders in their life. If you're interested in testing it, visit http://successmanifesto.com/feedback/.

  Amazingly (to me), this system has been somewhat controversial to people we share it with. Below are some of the critiques I've heard followed by my rebuttals:

  1. Getting feedack from people is fake. What is fake about getting another perspective? I personally want to know how people view me as a friend. Do they trust me? Do they consider me a close friend? How do they experience themselves around me? Do people see strengths or weaknesses in me that I may not see myself? What patterns are there in other people's feedback? Of course, I'm all for learning more about myself through introspection, but I personally think that closing off external data is somewhat closed-minded.
     
  2. I don't want to know the truth. I have trouble taking feedback. I don't care what other people think. In my opinion, this is the exact reason that you should get feedback. What part of you is being threatened by the feedback? By consciously and unconsciously communicating to others that you don't want or appreciate their feedback, I think you're not only hurting yourself, but your relationship with other people too. People seem to really enjoy giving feedback to others. However, when they feel like they can't, they inevitably communicate their feelings to others (talk behind your back) or they let feelings of frustration build up until they burst or leave the relationship. How would letting people around you know that you appreciate their feedback change your life?
     
  3. People will use the information wrongly. This tool isn't for everybody. Also, it isn't meant to stand alone. It is meant to be used in combination with intense introspection. I personally think a lot more damage is done by the grading and testing system. If somebody doesn't have a natural aptitude for getting high grades and they are labeled as "average" or "below average" growing up, is this constructive? Consider this in light of the fact that it is pretty well documented that people who acheive massive success in business and politics were not A students.
     
  4. Other people's feedback is tainted by their own biases. Furthermore, feedback dampens my creativity. This goes into the art of getting feedback, which I think one learns as they practice getting feedback. I wrote a blog entry on this earlier, which has my thoughts.

  What do you think?

  Posted at 10:32 AM | Comments (0) | Top