This reminds me of the movie by Hitchcock "Psycho". It may be a little too weird especially since the man is old. Sounds like you had some liking both titles of the other. I still like the immerse word b/c it sounds fun almost and I have to agree with the person that said youth do not think of generations much. Take a look at www.generationwhy.com for some insight. It is a great sight about the 10-25 year old age group. Sincerely, Jim Cooke

you will be remembered with this one alright and it is but I think it sounds almost Star Trekish. But it is good. Jim Cooke

I like this one the best! It totally hits the young entrepreneur spirit for me. It makes young entrepreneurs out to be better than the older, proven, corporate business people. It is like the reverse of how a lot of young entrepreneurs feel they fit into the current business world. I like that approach.

Brian Watkins

Thanks for your comments guys!

Yes - thank you very much for your comments! It's been very helpful getting feedback from everyone as we developed today.

Jim - that is a great site, thank you. Remember, with this ad though we're aiming it more toward potential tour sponsors/older speakers rather than students.

Michael,

I think you're missing the point of the advertisement. Catch phrases are nice, but it's more important for people to understand what the advertisement is about. Why isn't "The First Ever Collegiate Entrepreneur Tour" in the biggest font and the center of attention? I mean that is what is sooo EXTREME about the whole idea. I mean the tour is revolutionary in that no one has ever put together a college tour of young successful entrepreneurs. Of course there have been tours out there about entrepreneurship, but none like this one.

You have to be aware of the sides of the advertisement because it is going to be in a magazine and you have to be careful of the bends of the page.

I also think that you should make the details section a bit larger to make sure people understand why the tour is EXTREME.

I personally do not like any of the background graphics. I think that it is more important to get some concise statements out that that actually explains what this tour is about, who it will benefit and why it is sooo great. The graphics that have been in the background are useless; they are distracting the reader from the text and in some instances making the text hard to read.

I know some may disagree with the way I feel, but hey, it's only my opinion.

Hope this helps.

To me it seems more logical to see a young guy "disrupting" rather than an old guy... getting frustrated?

I'm not a big fan of the old guy. But other than that it is ok.