Finding the People of Your Dreams

I didn't have a girl friend in high school. In fact, I never hooked up with a girl in high school. This is a part of my life that only recently has become something that I'm comfortable sharing with others.

Why do I say these things? Because I learned one very important lesson that I think is applicable to anybody who wants to build incredible personal and business relationships: Be Yourself!

In high school, I spent a lot of my time trying to be popular. Below are some of the methods I used:

• I bought clothes from Abercrombie & Fitch and wore cologne.
  
• I made sure I hung out with people who I considered to be popular. In so doing, I betrayed one of my best friends that I had grown up with.
  
• I went to as many parties as I could and drank a lot. If I didn't go to a party on the weekend, I felt like the weekend was a waste.
  
• I got attention by making as many jokes as I could.
  
• I lifted weights a few times a week and took protein powder and creatine so I could look more attractive.
  
• I put in the least amount of effort possible into school while still getting high grades. I even cheated sometimes.
  
• I avoided talking about my passions (ie - web development and business ), because I thought people would think I was a nerd.

The results...nada.

In college, I knew I needed something different, so:

• I stopped buying clothes. I've probably spent all of $200 on clothes in the past five years.
  
• I stopped going out, unless it was with somebody or some people that I really respected and admired.
  
• When I went out, I didn't go somewhere where it was really loud and hard to hear.
  
• I completely stopped drinking - not counting a junior year school trip to Sweden.
  
• I stopped lifting weights just so I could look good for others.
  
• I stopped trying to get good grades (my college GPA is a 2.8 I think). Instead, I focused on learning what was important to me from each class.
  
• I started sharing my passions with other people.

Now, I have a growing group of friends who share similar interests, passions, and goals. I've lived with my girl friend for the past four years and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her.

It is ironic that we try to hide who we are, when it is by being ourself that we gain the respect and admiration of others. Next to "know thyself" should be, "be thyself".

Posted at July 22, 2005 01:52 AM